Here is the secret, I am a disaster. I am selfish, bossy, critical, rash, impatient, never ask for help, short tempered and negative. Poor qualities for a wife, yet I am one and truly lousy qualities for a mother and I am that too. Most days I feel completely inadequate for both roles.
This secret sharing comes after a rather miserable day and a horrible fight with my husband. Unfortunately miserable days are not that uncommon, but thankfully for the last few year, horrible fights had become a rare occurrence. The problem is that after 11 years of marriage we know exactly what buttons to push to achieve maximum wound. They are well worn buttons and sadly they are easy to push.
I am not sharing my secret to elicit sympathy but rather support. I started this blog to get my life in order. To create a place of accountability. To think that this only applies to my home or my work would be naive and narrow minded. If I did everything to get my home in order, to get my projects done, to get my body healthier and life humming along with rhythm and purpose but did nothing to examine and challenge my own short comings, I would be fooling myself and only waiting for the fail.
I have been following a beautiful blog called "the Orange Rhino challenge." It was started by a mom who challenged herself to 365 days of yelling less and loving more. She offers the same challenge to others in a smaller 30 day format. Her next challenge starts Nov. 1 and coincides with her book release, so it is also a book club this time. It is my plan to start this 30 day challenge. Wish me luck and I will happily take all your words of encouragement and support. I will need it.
Many blessings to you on this daring day--Kate
2 comments:
I w ish you well and will say a pray for your success. But the words of your blog dont even represent the Kati that I know. Soft spoken and positive are more words that I attribute to you. That said you know you better than I do and we all can use the personal growth. Good luck in your endeavour.
Thank you Jennifer. I like to think that I am also made up of many good and positive traits as well, but it is the need for transformation in the negative areas that motivated my words last night. It is good to know that I will have your prayers as I work on becoming my better self.
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